Crash on the other hand has not...
A typical school morning usually goes like this:
7:30 Crash get your socks and shoes and get ready to go... (response: ignore or aimless wandering)
7:40 Crash it's almost time to go...get your socks and shoes (response: aimless wandering)
7:45 Crash we need to leave get your socks and shoes (response: crying can't find the "right" socks)
Mom gives in a searches for the socks he wants...tries on 3 pairs...and finally gets shoes on and out the door.
Not any more!
Today our morning looked like this:
7:30 Crash you need to have everything for school by the door. This means your socks, shoes, backpack and jacket. I am leaving at 7:45. (Crash: ignores) It's not a problem. You take your time.
7:40 Crash I am leaving out of the drive way in 3 minutes. I will meet you at the car.
7:45 Crash starts screaming about socks. Not a problem. I put his socks and shoes in his backpack and head for the car. Not a problem.
All the way to school I hear sobbing and Crash repeating "I want my shoes."
My response: I know.
When there is a break in the sobs, I ask: "What seems to be the problem?"
Crash: I want my shoes!
Mom: I know you want your shoes, what's the problem?
Crash: Sobbing again..."I don't know!."
Mom: Crash you are a smart guy. Sit there and think about it for awhile. Take your time.
Crash: Sobbing again. I don't know.
After a minute, I ask again what seems to be the problem.
Crash: Holding back tears says I didn't put my shoes on at home when you said.
Mom: You are right. I told you that you were a smart guy!
Crash: Can I have my shoes?
Mom: When we get to the bench by your class.
Crash: But it's cold outside!
Mom: Probably so.
Crash: I WANT MY SHOES!
Mom: I know.
So we finally get to the bench, and I hand Crash his socks. He of course is so overloaded right now he can't comprehend socks. But that is not my problem. I tell him I would be happy to help him with his shoes after I help him with his socks. He of course refuses.
Mom: Crash it looks like you have a problem.
Mom: What are you going to do about it.
Crash: You are going to put on my shoes.
Mom: I would be happy to put on your shoes...after I put on your socks. You know mom's rule. Take your time. It's ok. I will be waiting over here.
Finally, Crash puts his own shoes on (minus the socks of course) but the smart little guy figured out his own problem and went to class relatively composed.
AND...mom didn't have to stress out one little bit.